Here's a list of typos, blunders and well, 'creative' attention grabbers. Be sure to have an extra set of eyes proof read your resume. "Suspected to graduate early next year."
Typos and Grammar Slips
"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."
"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."
"I am a rabid typist."
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."
"Work History: Performed brain wave tests, 1879-1981."
"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."
"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."
"Fired because I fought for lower pay."
More Resume Blunders
"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6’5".
"Please disregard the enclosed resume—it is terribly out of date."
"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."
"Qualifications: No education or experience."
"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."
"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the Revenue Canada, the RCMP and CSIS."
"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."
"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word ’paranoia.’ I prefer to elaborate privately."
"Title: Another resume from the ’Profiles in Excellence’ series."
"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."
"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr. Fix-it."
"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)
"But wait...there’s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."
"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
"My fortune cookie said, ’Your next interview will result in a job’—and I like your company in particular."
"Trustworthy references available upon request—if I give them a few bucks."
"Let’s meet so you can ’ooh’ and ’ahh’ over my experience."